Welcome to All the President’s Women, starring Kellyanne, Ivanka and Melania. It’s a soap opera, a history saga, a political drama.

It’s also a bit of a mess.

None of these women would be household names were it not for U.S. President Donald Trump, the mercurial man who is boss to the first, father to the second and husband to the third.

And while these women appear — on paper at least — to have quite a list of accomplishments, it’s their flaws that have made headlines.

They’ve been legitimately criticized for everything from lying to opportunism to plagiarism.

But they’ve also been subjected to sexist attacks that should make any feminist squirm.

Kellyanne Conway, 50, has a law degree, her own polling business, was the first woman to run a successful presidential campaign, and now has the exalted title of “counsellor” to the president.

But Conway is such an obvious liar that I’ve seen her swivel midsentence on camera from truth to pants on fire, defending her boss.

Think “alternative facts,” when she supported his false claim that his inaugural crowd was the largest in history; think “Bowling Green massacre,” a bogus terrorist attack she used to defend Trump’s entry ban.

More than one cable news show considered banning her as unreliable. One tweet joked that if Kellyanne Conway declares there isn’t going to be a tornado, head for the basement.

Conway is also facing a government ethics challenge for using her position to shill for Ivanka Trump’s fashion products after stores, including Nordstrom, began to drop them.

All of the above criticism is fair game. But it was disappointing to see Saturday Night Livego after Conway in an unfunny Fatal Attraction spoof that portrayed her as a sexually out of control stalker panting in a CNN host’s ear.

The only thing that matters is that her credibility lies in shreds.

Next up Ivanka Trump. Famous from childhood, polished, attractive and smart, dream daughter to her brash billionaire father. Ivanka, 35, got a business degree from the well-regarded Wharton business school and, along with working for Trump (as executive vice-president of his company) and appearing on his reality TV show, created her own aspirational jewelry and fairly basic luxury fashion brand.

She is married to publisher and real estate developer Jared Kushner, now a senior adviser to the president. By converting to Judaism, a no doubt genuine act, she has also become her father’s “get out of anti-Semitism” free card, which, despite a campaign that clearly attracted neo-Nazis, he brandishes regularly.

Ivanka is her father’s key character witness and ally in attracting female voters, many of whom not only admire her but want to be her.

She presents herself as a modern working mother of three who shares the same goals and challenges as other women. Given her privileges, there’s more stretch in that than there is in her spandex tops.

But there’s no denying her civility. Her “weaponized graciousness” as the New Yorker called it, was on full display as Ivanka sat next to Prime Minister Justin Trudeau on his recent visit to Washington to highlight a new American-Canadian council on women in business.

It’s legitimate to question whether this event (suggested by our government) was nothing but an empty “normalizing” photo op for Ivanka.

But satires, dwelling on a sexual frisson between Ivanka and our PM, as if they were the only attractive man and woman to sit together at a business event, were just silly.

One spoof in New York Magazine had Ivanka breathlessly calling Trudeau (“Would you ever, like, would you ever call me back and just speak to me in French a little bit?”) and showing up in his hotel room dressed as a Mountie making “some off-coloUr comments using the word Mountie.”

Finally there’s Melania Trump, 46, the Where’s Waldo of First Ladies. A former Slovenian model, Melania came to America completely unknown. (And yes it’s legit to query if she followed immigration rules given her husband’s hard-line stance against illegal and even legal immigration. She says she did.)

Within a few years, she had married one of America’s most famous billionaires. She is now improbably (even to her) First Lady.

During the campaign, Melania was slammed for plagiarizing a Michelle Obama speech — a lapse so awful it was poignant. She also excused her husband’s inexcusable “grab them by the pussy” comments as “boy talk.”

Since then, Melania has mostly stayed in Trump Tower in New York (because of added security, at a huge cost to the government) to accommodate her young son’s schooling.

Slurs against Melania have had a disturbing sexual theme. (A New York Times reporter was chastised by his paper after he referred to the First Lady during a conversation at a public event as a “hooker.”)

But Melania has met these slurs with an equally inappropriate response that showed she intended to monetize her position.

A lawsuit she filed against the Daily Mail, which has already apologized for falsely referring to her as a former high-end escort, made it clear the First Lady views her position as a unique opportunity “to launch a broad-based commercial brand in multiple product categories, each of which could have garnered multimillion-dollar business relationships.” A sad metaphor for the entire Trump tenure.

Thanks to images showing a grim-faced Melania at the inauguration, there’s as much betting on how long her marriage will last as to when her husband will be impeached.

All the President’s Women is so far a discomfiting saga as these women orbit uneasily around Donald Trump.

How will it end?

Kellyanne Conway will be deemed disposable and eventually shown the door. 

Melania may or may not find her footing.

And Ivanka, shimmering, ambitious and smart, will be there by her father’s side until the curtain comes down.

Judith Timson writes weekly about cultural, social and political issues. You can reach her at judith.timson@sympatico.ca and follow her on Twitter @judithtimson

Judith Timson writes weekly about cultural, social and political issues. You can reach her at judith.timson@sympatico.ca and follow her on Twitter @judithtimson

The Toronto Star and thestar.com, each property of Toronto Star Newspapers Limited, One Yonge Street, 4th Floor, Toronto, ON, M5E 1E6. You can unsubscribe at any time. Please contact us or see our privacy policy for more information.

Our editors found this article on this site using Google and regenerated it for our readers.