Former Oklahoma football coach Barry Switzer is credited with coming up with the all-time line: “Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple.”
Joe Torre could be the guy who decides that in baseball, and perhaps in life, getting to second base just got a lot easier.
As pitchers and catchers report to spring training next week, one of the first things they’ll be asked to throw out is an answer to an obviously silly question.
Because apparently before the MLB even considers doing away with the designated hitter, they’ll discuss a theory that, should a game go past the 10th inning still tied and fans in the stands and watching on TV have become far too bored, a designated runner could be put at second base at the start of each team’s at-bat with the end game of ending the game quicker.
That runner will, over the next two minutes, likely move to third on a sacrifice bunt, then score on a sacrifice fly. And the integrity of a “W” will not be sacrificed?
This isn’t just cueing up “purists’ outrage,” as a New York Times headline wants to frame this. It’s not a George Will issue, nor is it the will of the people. And don’t give the MLB credit for thinking outside the batter’s box on this either.
Pure and simple, who wants to see another outcome predicated on more gimmickry?
Torre, once part of the Dodgers’ brain trust but now the MLB Chief Baseball Officer, confirmed to Yahoo!Sports that this will not be some kind of executive order — they’ll mess around with it in the low minor leagues to “see what it looks like,” which we can assure him now will look like a school-yard kickball game trying to end recess before the bell for seventh period starts.
Then again, if all this is meant to do is distract fans from other ideas floated out there about implementing a pitch clock, moving the strike zone up to force more swings or doing away with the four-pitch intentional walk, then we’d move to motion.
Anyone want to second it?
In other news
• A robust Dodgers ownership team that decided Chris Sale was no bargain this offseason will now consider putting up a minority share of the franchise for sale? If you care about the future of the team, you’ll not jump on this. Why help this majority team become more financially secure, providing them with some instant cash that they can use to pay back the money they pilfered from Guggenheim clients’ insurance funds to secure the sale of the team in 2012?
• Tell us you didn’t buy a pass to the PGA Tour event at Riviera next week expecting an Eldrick Tont Woods sighting. And now you’re backpedaling?
• After a six-year hiatus — perhaps due to reasons of sanity — the Red Bull Soapbox Race of Los Angeles will return in mid-July, with the windy, bumpy Angels Point Road near the LAPD Academy in Elysian Park as the site to watch the carnage. Applications are out (www.redbullsoapboxrace.com). Will someone please forward this to Yasiel Puig?
• Can Steve Sarkisian truly avoid injuring himself from falling up so quickly?
• Who wouldn’t want to meet Rod Laver? The 78-year-old two-time Grand Slam champ will come up from his home in Carlsbad to be honored at this year’s Ojai Tennis Tournament (April 26-30). “Bringing Rod Laver to the Ojai Tournament is like bringing Beethoven to the music festival,” event organizer Mark Weil said. Even better, since Laver is alive to appreciate it.
• What if it turns out Roger Goodell secretly paid off someone from his ball boy witness protection program to snag Tom Brady’s Super Bowl jersey after Sunday’s game, with the intent to get it framed and hung from his office wall, and then see if anyone from the Patriots organization notices it the next they’re dragged in for an interrogation?
• Timofey Mozgov has an NBA championship ring, a four-year, $64 million contract that takes him through his 33rd birthday, and a courtside seat now to every Lakers’ home and road game. Why wouldn’t he think America is already great?
The last word
So ultimately the problem we all should have with 15-year-old LaMelo Ball scoring 92 points the other night for Chino Hills isn’t so much that he made the opponents (who scored 123 points) feel less worthy.
According to sports TV pundits who couldn’t pass up the opportunity to say something, this is all about the bushels of baskets that came as a result of him opting out on the defensive end, hanging around midcourt, and championing what is commonly known as “cherry picking” layups at the expense of sportsmanship.
It’s easy to get caught up in points, and how they are made.
LaMelo’s older brother, LiAngelo, has put up 72, 65 and 60 points in games this season. San Bernardino High’s Matthew Bradley also had a 72-point game. Style points matter.
But still, mellow out, folks.
The best point converted after that game was from Los Osos coach Dave Smith: “There are parts of the equation when it comes to sportsmanship and integrity where I have the problem. Things like their entire team rushing the court after a dunk. Things like stopping the clock with fouls in the last 30 seconds just so the kid can get more shots. Things like having other kids in the game and they’re told not to shoot and for them to just throw him the ball. That’s where I have the problem.”
It’s high school. It’s all about learning from mistakes. Like the one also made by superdad Lavar Ball, who was quoted as saying about LaMelo’s game: “I unleashed him.”
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