He’s just not that into your smartphone.
Americans are picky when it comes to dating, particularly those who have iPhones, according to a survey of more than 5,500 singletons aged 18 and over by dating site Match.com. Apple iPhone owners are 21 times more likely to judge others negatively for having an Android, while those who have an Android are 15 times more likely to judge others negatively for having an iPhone. And those who have older models of either smartphone are 56% less likely to get a date.
“We look for so many other ways in which we’re compatible with potential partners, why shouldn’t phones be on the list?” says Abby Rodman, a psychotherapist in Boston. “Where a person lives, what car they drive, and what they do for a living are all things we weigh before embarking on a relationship. That may be pitiful commentary, but we’re also looking for compatibility in the non-materialistic: political viewpoints, religious convictions, and fundamental ethical values.” One explanation for the iPhone users snooty approach to dating: iPhone users earn higher incomes than Android users, according to research group ComScore.
‘In 20 years or less, the question will be: Would you date an Android?’
While Android and iPhone users would rather date someone with their taste in gadgets, they do agree on some things when it comes to first dates. Bad grammar is looked upon unfavorably by 39% of singletons, followed by crooked or discolored teeth (37%) and unfashionable (or just plain bad) clothing (35%), the survey found. Nearly 15% of adults who are currently dating would think twice about dating someone with a cracked smartphone screen, it added.
“The metrics of the traditional date have shifted,” says Simon Rego, chief psychologist at Montefiore Medical Center at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York. He does see a cultish aspect to the technology we use. “Some people would rather lose their sense of smell than their iPhones. It’s as important to spell-check your text as it is to straighten your tie. Actually, I’m not sure people even wear ties on dates anymore.” And there are some practical drawbacks for couples with mixed technology: They can’t tell when they’re texts are delivered. And iMessages are mostly encrypted, if it’s between two iPhone users.
And it’s not only device preferences that divide people. The real judgments begin when singletons “friend” each other on Facebook. Some 58% are turned off by anyone who complains on Facebook, and exactly half of singletons are put off by potential dates who are too active on social media, the study concluded. “This is a profound commentary on today’s dating world living operating electronically online,” says Fran Walfish, Beverly Hills family and relationship psychotherapist, author of “The Self-Aware Parent.”
My boyfriend needs to get an iPhone. My iPhone and his android don't mix
— Brittany Stephenson (@meetme4tlake) June 21, 2016
Singletons scour social media for any sign of dysfunction and they are quick to act upon the information. In fact, two-thirds of singletons actually stalk (or investigate) their prospective dates on social media before they meet and 77% of respondents said they would not go on a date if they found something unfavorable, a UK survey of 2,000 single adults concluded. (And experts say this spying is unlikely to stop if they get married.) Bad spelling is a turnoff for potential dates and employers, studies show.
Some people feel the technology and social media bias has gone too far. “I have a suspicion that this not the case for many people,” says Timothy Elliott, a New York-based actor. And what if the study is representative of technology snobbery on the dating scene? “That would explain why there are so many baffled single people, and so many awful people in general.”
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Still, these lovelorn consumers may have good reason for exercising such caution after viewing other people’s Facebook accounts. Romantic relationships are private affairs, Rodman says. “If you’re living every breath of your life out loud on social media, you may be perceived as not being reliable enough to honor the sanctity of another’s confidence or of a romantic relationship. Complaining in cyberspace may be perceived as childish. You’re not really doing anything except spouting to no one in particular about your crappy boss or bad hair day.”
Mike Neill, a New York-based writer, says this iPhone-centric daters are missing the point. “In 20 years or less, the question will be: Would you date an Android?”
This article originally appeared on Marketwatch.
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